In today’s’ world of social media and immediate gratification, many don’t have the time – or take the time – to develop Self-Awareness – to get to understand, once and for all, what makes them fail in their relationships time and again.
Many date constantly, rushing from one date to another, “as if there is no tomorrow”, as if “the more the better”, as if they have turned the hunting-game into their goal, rather than the relationship itself. By doing so, they have a short-term view in front of their eyes, not a long-term.
The paradox is, that inside, deep inside, many of them “would have wished” they had a successful, long-term intimate relationship; but the group-pressure to date more and more; the need to prove – to themselves as well as to others – that they are worthwhile, wanted, “object of desire”, drive them to this dating-marathon. And with today’s so many dating-sites and so many instant ways to “connect” with one another, isn’t the “dating game” just one more sort of, well, a game?
But everything which looks advantageous has its limitations. And dating constantly, uninterrupted – even with unlimited, unguarded, uninhibited sex – might have its consequences: at the end of the game, one might feel worthless, insecure, with low self-image, undesired, abused and alone.
Still, in spite of all these, he/she might still be
to develop Self-Awareness: to truly understand how he/she shoots self in the foot; to realize how his/her immature and behavior don’t land them the relationship they so much desire.
And why is it so? Why are so many afraid to develop this important Self-Awareness, which will provide them with the key to understanding whatever it was that they haven’t understood until now; whatever it was that has driven them to sabotage their attempts at relationships time and again; whatever it was that has driven them to jump from one date to another, day in day out, feeling frustrated, disappointed and alone, time and again?
Unwillingness to develop Self-Awareness is due to several reasons:
First of all, not knowing what Self-Awareness is and means.
Second, not understanding how becoming aware can help you realize how they shoot themselves in the foot.
Third, being afraid to be confronted with issues about themselves they have tried to run away from until now; unwilling to “dig in” and discover “who they really are”.
After all, it
scary to realize things about yourself that for a long time you have preferred not to know: could it be that you have a fear of commitment? Could it be that you need to prove to yourself, time and again, that you are a “sexual available” person? Could it be that you just don’t know what intimacy is and are afraid even to try? Could it be that you have been hurt in the past and are afraid to try again?
Whatever the reason, many are afraid to look inside, reflect and understand their harmful, self-sabotaging attitudes and behaviors. It is so much easier to walk around not-understanding, ignoring, and not acknowledging “who you really are” and what truly drives you to behave the way you do…
It is so easy to always blame others (including parents!) as well as other circumstances for not being successful in relationships, or rationalizing it with one and thousand rationalizations, rather than taking the steps necessary to make a positive change and strive for success.
If you have reached the point that sex, pleasure and unlimited dating isn’t satisfying you anymore, and are seriously wishing to have a successful and happy intimate relationship, the best way for you to achieve this goal is to develop Self-Awareness: to take the time – and effort! – to look inside, recognize the ways in which you have shot yourself in the foot until now (probably without even realizing it!) and realize what you need to change in order to
Although developing Self-Awareness can be frightening at the beginning of the process, as long as you persevere with it you will begin to enjoy the new insights you gain about yourself and the new behavioral and attitudinal options which are available at your disposal in pursuing your goal of a successful intimate relationship.
There are many ways in which you can begin pursuing your Self-Awareness: either by reading books on the subject; attending Self-Awareness workshops and courses, and/or seeking a short-term counseling.
Whichever way you choose, beginning the process is a gift you can give to yourself!